Monday, October 21, 2013

Continuing My Walk…In His Reflection

The results of choices we make can and will sometimes throw us off course. Other times, we cannot anticipate God’s Will. Sometimes we are blindsided. These detours or stop signs have potential to create emotional seasons in our life…seasons of happiness or sadness…but they are just that…emotional seasons. While never altering our foundation, these seasons inhibit our walk.

Everyone is going through their own trials and tribulations. I know many people who are hurting right now. Though my trials may seem small in comparison, the accumulation, one after the other during such a short span, was still able to steal my focus and rob my joy. During the past ten years I have had an excess of major life events occur. I have married again, lost my dad, lost my oldest brother, lost my mother, lost relatives, lost numerous dear friends and lost my dog. I almost lost the youngest of my 3 brothers, as well, in a tractor accident. I have prayed for a son as he endured divorce. I have retired again. I have undergone pelvic mesh surgery. I have stood by my sister’s side as she fought breast cancer, undergoing a bi-lateral mastectomy and nine hospitalizations before reconstruction was completed. I saw many doctors and specialists who either did not know enough about prolapsed female organs or did not want to advise me because of the legal controversy involved in and around the use of mesh implants. My hormones, for the first time in my life, were out of whack and depression seemed to find a home. Finally, I was referred to an outstanding doctor, specializing in prolapsed female organ issues, who performed corrective surgery on my previous surgery. That was two surgeries done without insurance. The ongoing saga of hurt and dark cloud of un-wellness, plus the search and inability to find a competent doctor with more than adequate knowledge, seemed unending. Also, there were incompatibility issues in my marriage surrounding my medical condition. My husband and I saw a Christian counselor a few times. He was a nice guy but had no clue of the culmination of sadness and extent of physical and marital issues at hand. In addition, I have not been able to be physically active. As a result of stress and depression, I had gained approximately sixty pounds and eventually stopped writing. During this time, our air-conditioning units (2 years old) were malfunctioning due to faulty installation and we had to have some things worked on and redone. My husband works contractually and during this time, he was in between jobs when he had a tire blowout which totaled his truck. He was fortunate and blessed to be alive. The blessing that my husband was okay, made the loss of a 93-acre tract of land seem unimportant to us. And no, I still don’t have a kitchen. I know better than to fall for Satan’s infiltrations of pity and yes, while staring at God’s blessings in the midst of these trials, I was also chastising myself, which throughout the years caused a vicious cycle and deteriorated my zeal and joy.

This is not meant to be a sob story. On the contrary…I laid my season of sadness and self-pity at the foot of the cross this past weekend. I simply want to express that not only do we need God’s Word, time alone with Jesus, prayer, Bible study and regular church attendance, we also desperately need to bask in God’s Grace and exhibit the LOVE of Jesus…AGAPE love…in order to remain intentionally focused, full of the Holy Spirit and walking in His joy. We must continually be His hands and feet no matter what Satan is attempting to do to our mind!

“Preach the Word! Be ready in season and out of season”
(2 Timothy 4:2)

This “season” does not refer to time; it refers to us. We should not anticipate a mountain-top experience in order to have inspiration or joy. We show proof of our right relationship with God when we do our best whether inspired or not. The mountain-top experiences like I just enjoyed at Women of Faith followed by my life-changing Walk to Emmaus, as well as other awesome moments of insight and inspiration, are true gifts of God. What will I do with them now? As Oswald Chambers said, “If you make a god out of your best moments, you will find that God will fade out of your life, never to return until you are obedient in the work He has placed closest to you, and until you have learned not to be obsessed with those exceptional moments He has given you.”

PRAISE GOD FOR THE SEASONS in our lives…bad, good or exceptional…PRAISE GOD FOR DAY FOUR of my walk! De Colores!

Captured in His Reflection,